The Alternative 10 Commandments
The year is 2001 A.D (after Devbox) and with the Amiga being given a new lease of life with our part-saviours in the shape of Fleecy Moss & Bill McEwan and with such wondrous new devices as the Mediator and Predator PCI boards and a promise of a "New-look" Amiga in the shape of the AmigaOne 2001 and onward is at this moment in time looking good for the miggy scene.
So it came to pass that in the year 2001 of our Amiga new and wondrous devices came from the heavens (naa, not really, Eyetech and of course Power Computing in fact), and it was stated that in the new book of Amiga's called Amiga Active that such saviours as above would be heralding our computers, neh, our very homes, and so it came to pass that in the Town of Rugby there lived a man called Steven, he was a Painter (I should have been a Carpenter, but there was only two of them, Karen and Richard), anyway, on the 29th December in the year 2001 of our Amiga Steven decided that there had to be rules made for the Amiga so as to lay a firm footing of how this wondrous machine should be used in future generations (well, in 2-3 years maybe).
And Steven called the rules the 10 DOS commandments, now, being a god in his how mind did he, like the true god burn these commandments into 10 tablets of stone which was taken from the face of a mountain, huh, no, that was to easy.
Or did he call for gods help to etch these rules into the very earth that we all stand on, huh, some chance of that.
Maybe he summoned King Neptune from the sea to engrave these rules on the sea-bed, so although they would be still written, they would be safe from mans destructive nature, oh sure Benny.
Or did Steven ask Zeus to burn these rules on the sky itself so they were there day and night so as to make us never forget them, OK, keep guessing mortals, I'll tell you what Steven did shall I....
After the sun had rose in the sky to it's highest point then one hour later (yes, about 1.00 pm) on the 4th day of Odin's youngest child's day of birth (Thursday) in the month of the harvest of chicken and turkey (December) in he fetched a parchment of the finest quality and using the only tools he knew how to use (was it the brand new set of wax crayons that he'd just had for Christmas....No...it was) his trusty Epson Stylus 760 inkjet printer.
And with such a wondrous tool he created these 10 DOS commandments, and totally without the need of a washing-up bottle and a sheet of sticky-backed plastic and string, and it came to pass that the 10 commandments were etched via Plus-Jet inkjet paper and Epson compatible printer inks, and they were honed as thus....
[1]...Thou shalt not buy or use pirated software....
[2]...Thou shalt not re-boot your machine whilst it is already in mid-bootup, or a crash might seem like the devils work.[3]...Thou shalt not covet thy neighbours wife (especially while playing a game of Deluxe Galaga or Megaball 4.
[4]...Thou shalt read all the scriptures of The Crypt diskmag and hence save the scriptures before re-using the tablets they were written on.
[5]...Thou shalt use a fairly modern text package like Wordworth, Protext or the like when creating your own scriptures (it really pisses me off having to arse around with packages like Pen Pal and the like).
[6]...Thou shalt send pictures or text into THE CRYPT in their respective formats
[7]...Thou shalt not browse PC mags in shops while delving through the others looking for Amiga Active (in my local W.H. Smith they used to bloody hide Amiga Active amongst loads of other mags, why, were they that scared of AA being so good?.
[8]...Thou shalt send each member of THE CRYPT team �20 just for part of THE CRYPT ..(sorry, that was my own 8a commandment).
[9]...Thou shalt not strike out in anger at anytime to another computer user (well a PC user maybe, those don't really count).
[10]..Thou shalt send floppy disk's, stamps and a new jiffy bag when asking for issue's of THE CRYPT by post, well, none- CRYPT users will anyway please.
So, OK, you most probably think to yourself after reading this article What a load of ball-hooks or maybe what a load of fue-king crap, fair enough, let's see you do better matey, if you can do better, then great, that's what we want "MORE INPUT"
